Mandisa reminds us that life sometimes is tough

By Andrew Coakley

It was hard to find words to describe how I felt when I learned that Gospel Recording Artist Mandisa had died.

Shock was the first evoked emotion. However, after I found out more information and discovered that she had not died as a result of an accident or physical sickness, curiosity, combined with concern and peppered with many questions became the dominant emotions that were running around in my head, each trying to gain dominance.

I was a big fan of Mandisa. Her songs were not just “Christian” songs, but her lyrics always seemed to dig deeper, touching the heart and soul of all who are considered human. Her songs sometimes acted as a mirror, forcing one to look at themselves and admit to owning the soil-stained face that stared back at them.

Mandisa’s music, to me, was real.

Perhaps that’s because Mandisa was real. All who spoke of her used the same words - kind, sweet, generous, human. She was not “holier than thou”, yet the saving grace of Christ inundated her songs.

I could not help but ask myself how did this aspiring, successful, good-spirited and seemingly “happy” woman could die at a young age of 47 if not by some accident or physical malady? According to reports, police said there was no indication of foul play. She was found dead in her home in Nashville, Tennessee.

Based on some of the last posts Mandisa had uploaded to Youtube before her death, the gospel artist spoke about her struggles with weight loss, depression and poor mental health. In one video, she had broken down in tears as she spoke about her dog who had to go to the Vet because she (Mandisa) said she almost killed her dog by mistake.

The video was very disturbing and hard to watch. There was obvious signs that something was wrong with Mandisa. In other videos she spoke openly about fighting depression and mental struggles on a daily basis. The Grammy award winning gospel singer, who got her first big break on American Idol (Season Five), seemed to have lost her fight to depression, although the exact cause of how she died has not yet been confirmed.

It was during a recent interview where Mandisa openly expressed heartbreak after a close friend of hers died of breast cancer in 2014, that may best pinpoint where her mental and perhaps spiritual decline had begun. It would be that incident that pushed the talented gospel singer out of the public limelight, as she privately battled depression and the all-too-popular questions about faith, belief, life and asking God “why?”. During that time, she had regained a lot of the weight which she had lost in her diet and fitness battles over the years.

But Mandisa seemingly had beat the depression, releasing a new album in 2017 entitled “out of the dark”, which secured her a Grammy award. It was an appropriate title for where she was (or should I say where she had been) at the time in her personal life. It also served as a tribute to her friend who had passed. Little did she or anyone know that it would be the final album release for Mandisa.

It is believed that the depression had never really left the gospel singer and it would be evident in a few chilling vlogs just before her passing.

Mandisa’s struggle with depression is a reminder to all of us that depression is very much a real thing and can hold us captive for a long time. It’s hard to imagine that someone who sang a song called “Overcomer” and other such positive lyrics could secretly battle depression.

Some would argue that as a Christian, she should not have been overcome by depression, because (as her song suggests) we are Overcomers in Christ.

But the truth is even those of us who bear the title of Christian find ourselves battling depressing, negative thoughts in our minds on a daily basis. Like Mandisa and so many other Believers around the world, I can identify with what its like to be in that kind of struggle. People see you and don’t understand what you’re going through. Sometimes even those closest to you may know of your struggles, but don’t understand it and thus brush you off, disregarding the seriousness of your mental battles.

It’s a reminder that even as Believers while we “decree and declare” certain things over our lives, we daily wrestle with the devil in our minds. Even as we expound our profession and confessions faith, believing that “we will have what we say”, mentally we’re being mentally pounded by the enemy of our souls.

I’m convinced that depression is more spiritual than just mental. The constant thoughts of not being good enough, not achieving anything in life, facing constant failures and disappointments, not having a sense of direction or just thinking that God could not possibly love someone “like me” are all everyday thoughts that bombard the minds of the depressed person.

We smile in people’s faces, but cry when they leave the room. We put on a good front, especially among our Christian friends, but God sees the darkness that shrouds our minds and threatens to overcome us. The increasing amounts of people now walking the streets talking to themselves or to invisible beings is another sure sign that the mental health of many in today’s harsh world is fragile.

Mandisa had become a successful gospel artist. She had achieved things that many people wished they could. Once she garnered fame on American Idol, she would go on to record six albums, won two Grammy awards, making the number one spot on Christian music charts and made good money off her talents, yet somewhere in the recesses of her mind, all of that didn’t matter. Something inside of her head was telling her she was still not good enough. Just living life had become too much.

Hers was a reality so many Believers around the world can relate too. We live in a world where there is a need to be more aware of the mental state of the people close to us and those we know. Be on the look out for warning signs that something is “just not right”. Be willing to pray for people whom you feel may be battling depression or mental struggles.

For Mandisa, may the peace that had evaded her in the latter part of her life be found in the next with her Lord and Savior.